I have been so bad.........

  I am definitely in a mood.  Completely exhausted everyday of the week and absolutely nothing comes to mind worth writing about.

For a brief moment I thought about blogging that wicked woman in the Red Blazer today that cut off not just the crossing guard but 2 kids that were crossing.  It really irritated me that she almost ran over 3 kids and looked as if it was their fault!  I mean really, in what land do cars have a right of way over vehicles in the crosswalk?  All I can think is she must have really great car insurance to go at those kids like that.

I also could have blogged in the last the few weeks about the frustration with my broken appliances.  When my stove blew up I bought a new to me stove, well that one didn't work either, so they said they would replace it, I am still waiting for that replacement.  Now the dryer has stopped tumbling and I have no spare tools to switch out the dryer (let's hope when I figure out the tool situation that I don't discover that dryer stopped working also).

Over the last few weeks I too could have blogged about the frustrations associated with raising a teenager.  How frustrating it is to wake up one day and no longer know the right things to say to your teen.  To look at a child you have adored for so many years only to discover they have become a stranger.  It's so hard to tell you the truth.  I know this is simply a right of passage for both my darling teen and myself, but I really think this is a right I could pass on.

Over the course of the last few weeks I could also vent my frustration and dislike at the upcoming holidays.  Of course I know that I want to pass on them because I am at a loss to provide for them.    With Thanksgiving only a week away, I am feeling pretty positive that we will not be able to do thanksgiving dinner.  I am slightly hopeful, but not too hopeful that a stove will magically appear.  It's already been so long I can't count that I have been patiently waiting.  Not to mention beginning next week I have the pleasure of enjoying my children's company for 6 days straight!  Lord help us all.

I also could have blogged about how worthless job hunting can make a person feel.  I know the economy is tight, but seriously, NOTHING in HOW long?  It is definitely hard to stay positive when the bills keep piling up AND Christmas is just around the corner.  I am so frustrated because throughout the year I remind the kids when they are acting up that Santa Claus is watching and he remembers.  Now come Christmas morning when there is nothing to open their little self-esteems are gonna shoot down the toilet.......or maybe they will look at it as a warning of future Christmases to come and be EXTRA good all next year.  Maybe not all is lost!

So anyway............that's about all I have been up to and all I can muster today.

Opening Day

All across these great cities,  women are celebrating a complete BREAK from their spouses/ significant others.

They are not mourning the temporary widowdom that Deer Hunting brings, guys get a clue, they are CELEBRATING a week of freedom and hoping beyond hope that you DO NOT get that big buck so you will leave AGAIN!

They are not sitting their crying for you (despite what they tell you on the phone) they are stretching out in bed, enjoying ALL the covers and the quiet night without you snoring.

They are exhilirated to not have to deal with a pair of your dirty underwear or socks for an entire week.

Women are not sitting home pouting, they are out with their girlfriends having the time of the life.

If only Opening Day could come once a month!

Happy Halloween

While today is officially Halloween, yesterday was when our town celebrated the much loved Children's Holiday.

The kids and I had a FULL Day! The little ones and

I started the day off at Church while Alexa spent that time in d

ance rehearsals. While she spent a lot of time at the studio, t

he potluck provided was awesome (at least it looked and smelled awesome) and she did not complain once about being hungry after we left.

At 3:30 we rushed from the studi

o to Downtown to prepare for the Thriller performance! What a blast that was. The troupe kids all dressed up as Zombies with HUGE dead hair (complete with leaves, grass and other icky stuff) dark and light make-up and trashed and dirty costumes.

All the kids hid in various stores throughout the downtown

area waiting for the music to que,

once the music began to play, they all began to creep out of the stores...........

slowly making their way through the crowd gathered to see what was happening........

As they made their way through the crowd, their were startles and screams of surprise from many of the onlookers...........

The kids made their way into the center of the street

and began to dance to Thriller........

...

soon they drug onlookers into dance with them and our little town was dancing in the streets.......literally!

It was a lot of fun and some GREAT memories for all.

The kids also decorated pumpkins, trick or treated and went on an amazing hay ride!

This weekend was full and fun!

What a Day

What a day today has been.

There predicted damaging rain/wind storm has of yet remained fairly calm. The winds are picking up now though and others without power would definitely disagree with me on how calm it's been.

The kids were excellent tonight at small group! I am so very thankful for this group and the ability to bring my children and attend. The peace I feel for those short few hours is enough to get me through until Sunday, where I can generally gain another time of pea

ce and worship.

This week is gearing up to be a busy one. We have something going on the rest of the week and I am hoping that tonight I will get a good or better yet GREAT nights sleep so that I can garner the energy needed to get through the rest of the week.

I have gone down to the beach a few times to take pictures of the water and lighthouse in high winds and the kids have always remained home. Today they insisted that they too should be able to go, so we went. It was for them not near as much fun as they had hoped it would be! The sand was blowing so incredibly hard it stung and burnt any skin left exposed. We will be picking sand out of our ears, nose and hair for a week I am sure.

The pic's though are beautiful and I can't wait to share them.  I predict we will remember this for a long time.........

Here's a Thought........

Though I managed to forget this blog completely existed (I wonder if I should see a doctor about memory loss....how does one forget a blog?), I did keep a written journal. So over the next few days, weeks, months (years if I forget about it again) I am going to transfer these handwritten journals here......not that anybody will ever see them.........from what I can tell.....their is nobody looking!

There is a sort of safety in knowing that nobody follows your blog or looks at it, I can be completely free in my thoughts and really let out my frustrations..........oh where to begin!

I know......

Dear Mr. President...................

Dear Governer of Michigan.................

Dear Hateful, Conving, Spiteful woman who won't leave me be....................

Ahh, the thoughts spinning through my head don't feel too overly kind and so I think I will follow sound advice, if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all. For NOW!

Look what I found!

I had forgotten I ever created this blog. What was the point I wonder? I suppose it was to give myself a Time Out and a place to sort through so many things, so that I could be a good mother and wife. A place to reflect, celebrate and possibly cry? I can't honestly say I know now. Who I was two years ago is gone and who I am now is a mere shell of that person, one I don't like much. I thought I knew what stress and hardship were two years ago, I have a new appreciation for what once seemed so difficult, yet I would gladly be there now than here.

I read through those few posts from what appears a lifetime ago, wow it blows my mind.

My last post it appears was written just as winter was about to hit almost 2 years ago. So many seasons have come and gone since then and with them so many changes. Most of the changes I could honestly say I could live without.

My once seemingly together family as last posted has been ripped at the seems. We are not a functioning family at all, and I hold little hope that we will ever be whole again. Deceit, manipulation, lies,vengeance, hate.....have ripped this family to shreds. Can we mend these? Will we be allowed to? How much more damage will seep insecurity into the very core of each person in my family? What is the long term collaterall damage to myself, children and spouse? I suppose now is not the time to reflect on that as too much is left to be done and the story is long from being written.

Ahh.....nothing like a trip down memory lane to bring out the pain of a new existence. Someday I hope memories will again bring comfort and end the sharp piercing pain of my life now.

My Baby Boy Turns 8

My Lil Man Turns 9